Last week, I decided to cut my hair. I wasn't planning on doing it. It was just a spontaneous thing at the time. I was not trying to be the "new year, new me" girl, I just wanted a change. A new look. A fresh start.
2017 has been a whirlwind emotional rollercoaster ride for me. I graduated high school, left my small town, and went to college in Bowling Green, Ohio. As I am writing this post, I can't help but remember where I was at in 2016 waiting for the ball to drop. Back then, I was so afraid of the future; scared I would make the wrong decision.
Looking at where I am today, I know for certain God placed me where I needed to be. 2017 has brought me many answered and unanswered prayers. It was a year of lost friendships, rewarded with new. A year of amazing opportunities and many trials. My first semester of college was rough, you could say at least. I gained an amazing opportunity as I first arrived to BGSU. It was something that I prayed long and hard for. However, later in the fall, I lost that opportunity and for the longest time, I couldn't understand why. It was hard for me to let go. Anyways, as I transitioned my way through out my first semester of college, I realized that you can not always be perfect. My personality is perfectionism, I try so hard to please everyone, however, I realized that I can't do that. I have to please myself first, and in order to please myself, I have to let go of the past.
This past year, I've noticed that I have a constant pattern of comparing myself to others. Sometimes I think to myself, "I wish my story looked like hers." "Wow, she has 5K followers on Instagram!" or "She looks so happy. I want a cute relationship like her."
A couple, months ago I was scrolling through my Instagram , and one of my favorite bloggers, Jordan Lee Dooley posted a quote. The quote read:
Real girls aren't perfect and perfect girls aren't real. -Jordan Lee Dooley.
After reading the quote, truth sunk into my heart. It was in that moment when I realized that I needed to let go of the things I can not control and just be real. Those girls I compared myself to are not me. They have not been through what I have been through and that's okay. We all have different stories.
2017 has taught me a lot this year. I've learned that things don't always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. I've learned that there are things that could go wrong that don't always get fixed or put back the way they were before. I've learned that broken relationships stay broken, and I've learned that you can get through trials and tribulations as long as you keep your faith and surround yourself with the ones who love you most.
So here's to the new year, 2018: a new year, new chances, same dreams and a fresh start.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says that therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old is gone, the new is here. When we laid down our life and gave it to Christ, he gave us the free gift of our identity being in Him. He did not create us to be average. He created us to be unique, to stand out as christians.
xoxo,
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